My humble apology
I am as black as the night and with the tenacity and resilience of a warrior or so I thought. I can no longer hold my head up with so much as a whimper for my load has overwhelmed me. I am ashamed that all I can manage is but a sigh. I have let you down and it seems so clear in the way you look and talk to me that I am almost a lost cause.
I cringe at the thought of your sympathy and yearn for the ability to regain my stature in your full view…yet all in all I am told to stand tall in all things. I have let your teachings slip from my lips and this has weakened my conviction. I am sorry that my hiatus has almost been my demise. I have lost myself in the search for a reality that is not real but a notion that only exists to those in the situation.
Forgive my insolence, for I alone have decimated the very statutes you had preset. I apologize for the misappropriation I have exhibited. I have decided to relinquish all I have attained for what I am ordained to be from this point moving forward…
My inability to rest easy has plagued me and now I know why. I have not been worthy of your forgiveness but you are faithful and just. I have witnessed your wonder, demanded favor and received it on multiple levels and now I vow to be careful about my appropriations.
For those I have interacted with at all levels, I appreciate the candor, patience, rebuke, the affection, the criticism, and the tough love; I thank you from the bottom of my heart…. I know I will be better person for it.
To you my Jesus, I surrender it all!!!!!!
